If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
My cat gives me a boner
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I need moral support for this bender
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
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