meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
