Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
