Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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