I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
