Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize