oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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