I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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