p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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