I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
