There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
3pm strippers are depressing
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
