dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Did you just see the Batmobile???
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
