i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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