About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
