i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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