the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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