I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
