How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
