oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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