Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
