He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
