No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
