i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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