We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
