I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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