You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
