If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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