Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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