we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
My vagina just recognized that song.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
