I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
