I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
