I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
