He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
