two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
