If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
its not stalking. its research.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's shark week go big or go home
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
