yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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