he was CRYING into my vagina
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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