why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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