Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
