1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
