I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
