I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
wow bdsm is so cute
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
