When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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