do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Found the puke drawer
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize