I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
