Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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