How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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