i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
