I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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