my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
