Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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