I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
