Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He uses pillows to masturbate.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
