I think this baby is eyeing my beer
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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