So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
