Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
