She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Acid is not a monday night drug
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
