yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
