Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
