let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
