so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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