So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
