As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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