I wish my penis had an off switch
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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